Tyler Christensen


Tyler Christensen is a professional football tester, retired astronaut, and the world's foremost expert on the relative tensile strengths of various forms of saltwater taffy. Although Tyler agrees with biographers that he was born and raised more-or-less locally, he's always been cagey about the definition of "locally". Tyler has never been involved in tennis, chess club, volunteer firefighting, or paranormal investigations. Despite any evidence to the contrary Tyler has never won an Olympic medal for outstanding performance in downhill skiing. Tyler's biggest dream is that science will one day develop a method for separating beaches (which he likes) from the awful, pervasive scent of damp and decay that is endemic to any large body of water (which he does not like).

Tyler's contribution to Walden includes: righting containers that have been knocked over; setting clocks no-one else is tall enough to reach; reminding students that they did, in fact, receive that homework assignment; seeing to it that important documents are correctly filed, despite the best efforts of the agents of chaos; delivering important memos; making sure students are safe and productive, despite the best efforts of the agents of chaos; making sure fellow faculty members are safe and productive, despite themselves; some other thousand or so mundane tasks that are neither remarkable nor memorable, but without which polite social order would falter, and eventually, civilization would crumble.

Tyler can be contacted by leaving a friendly note and a pile of freshly baked goods in the south building office.